1. |
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In the back of my head there’s this nagging fucked up feeling that says
You are not who you think you are and you are not improving
And I know it’s just a trick but I can’t keep it out of my mind
All my friends want to be dead and I would be deceiving you
If I said I didn’t feel the same at least once a week
Because living in this country could make anyone put a bullet in their brain
The future’s looking bleak and there’re fires we can’t put out
And I just paid my rent and now there's pennies in my bank account
Every year it gets worse and it is getting harder
To live your life like you’re not just a pig being led to the slaughter
By some rich white fucking asshole who’s never felt an ounce of your pain
They’ll send the cops to your house and kill your best friends in their sleep
And when you close your eyes at night it’s the only thing you see
But they’ll blame it on their race or say that had a drug dependency
They’ll use your mental illness as an excuse to say you were crazy
Well I’m just fucking tired of watching innocent people dying
Daily
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2. |
Ain't That Just the Way
03:10
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I’ve been down on my knees not trying to pray just resting my feet
Take a dose of reality and dissect my personality
To cut out the pieces I don’t need
So I can build a better me from me
Meet my friends down at the creek throw a stone in the blazing heat
Get high get drunk get anything to find a sense of belonging
Convince myself I wanted to be seen
But it’s not that easy and I’m starting to feel kinda queasy
I just need some fucking guidance or any kind of sign
That says what I’m doing is what is meant to be
Tell a joke in the morning smoke breathe in breathe out hold onto hope
Thrive survive just be alive try to find some peace of mind
Convince myself today will be fine
But it’s not that easy and I’m starting to feel kinda queasy
I just need somebody’s touch some skin against my own
To make me feel like I’m enough
Why am I so fucking angry I’m always so pissed off
I needed something new I even tried playing golf
But I can’t hold the clubs right and I can’t hit the ball straight
And now I’m feeling scared I got too much on my plate
And I can’t relax
Even when I’m comfortable
No I can’t relax
Even when I’m asleep
I want to tell you I hate you I want to make it go away
I want to tell you I hate you I want to make it go away
I want to tell you I hate you I want to make it go away
But if I tell you I hate you then you will make me stay
I want to tell you I hate you I want to make it go away
I want to tell you I hate you I want to make it go away
I want to tell you I hate you I want to make it go away
I want to tell you I hate you and then
Just fucking walk away
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3. |
College Town
03:13
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Buy a house in a college town
All your friends are gonna move out
Cause no one wants to live in the place that they grew up in
Vodka shots from a coffee mug
Call-in to work with a stomach bug
And fall to the floor like snow in December
It’s days like this that make me think to myself maybe it’s time to get some help
But it’s days like this that make nights I can’t remember
No I don’t want to remember
Sow some seeds in the fertile ground
Lie to myself and say it’s gonna work out
But death’s not quite as tall as I remember
Have a breakfast of cold hashbrowns
Force myself to take a bike ride downtown
Swerve into traffic and get runover
It’s days like this that make me think to myself maybe it’s time to get some help
But it’s days like this that make nights I can’t remember
No I don’t want to remember
A get well soon card rests upon the nightstand
These flowers and broken bones are what I call home
God descends and says it’s not my time yet
I still got a couple more chances to blow
I’m the king of the castle
My destiny is all my own
And I don’t have to be here if I don’t want to
But these walls are crumbling
I rest my head on a cardboard throne
And if given the chance I might just give up
Yeah I think I’ll give up
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4. |
Terrance St.
03:46
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In the suburbs off of Terrance St sits a Cadillac and some evergreens
That I see every day on my bike ride home
In the yard’s a great big family that always looks way too damn happy
Or at least more than I’ve ever known
There’s a museum downtown that has the origins of the human frown
On display right next to the first king’s crown
Last time we went it was all shut down, in the car you asked what I was thinkin about
I scooped my eyes up off the ground and said
How could ever summarize the entirety of human life
In a single sun washed brick-red building
And what am I supposed to feel like after spending two decades of my time
Feeling anxious, hoping and wishing
For someone else’s life
In the passenger seat of my car there’s a bag I pack when I drive far
Or at least want to get away from home
When I return and walk up those steps, unpack the bag and ponder what happens next
I pull my phone out to read a text that says
How could you ever summarize our relationship in two short lines
And did you mean it when you said you hate me
Well what am I supposed to feel like after watching two of my siblings die
And not doing a single ounce of anything
To save my life
To save my life
I need to save my life
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5. |
Grocery Store
02:32
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Kim’s sifting through newspaper clippings trying to save a couple of pennies
Scans a column of opinions that she doesn’t agree with
Tomorrow she’ll do as she’s done before, make her way to the grocery store
Spin a tale to the grocery clerk about her husband’s bad habits
She hands the cashier a fifty, but there will be no change
The kids down at the local school don’t give a fuck as long as it’s cool
Drinking in the passenger side of their father’s Toyota
Tomorrow they’ll do as they’ve done before, fake ID’s at the liquor store
Get high and drive around some more, kill someone with their negligence
The cops arrive in the suburbs, but there will be no arrest
If you don’t like what goes on in this town you can conform or get the fuck out
It doesn’t make you big to want to leave
Well every week I pray to god, I’ll make it out alive
But god’s never done a single thing for me
So I wouldn’t cash that check just yet
The pastor passes the offering bowl, scans the pews assesses the poor
Reassures them their money will save them from damnation
Tomorrow he’ll do as he’s done before, pop some pills and fuck the girl next door
Cheating on his wife despite his father’s commandments
His sins will be just a rumor, heard at the grocery store
If you don’t like what goes on in this town you can conform or get the fuck out
It doesn’t make you big to want to leave
Well every week I pray to god, I’ll make it out alive
But god’s never done a single thing for me
So I wouldn’t cash that check just yet
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6. |
No Surprise
03:59
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Spent the summer talking shit
On the people we loved but now regret
Finally established
A home a garden a full queen bed
But you know it won’t last
You’re skipping class
Kissing me, it’s broken glass
When you go to graduate
We’ll lose this house you’ll leave this state again
You say it’s time to celebrate
But I find it’s hard to punctuate
All these things I need to say
Never come out in the right way
But you still loved me every day
You mend my bones you are my faith
But I don’t have much to believe in these days
And I never had to fight for who I am
Even though I struggle just to feel like a man
I am the dirt I am the porcelain
You were broken you weren’t chosen
A breeze blows through to cut the silence
Our fingers reach out and intertwine
And I love us I love us I love us
Tonight
Feeling empty feeling bleak
Need something to warm my cheeks, I
Put some poison in my lungs
It hurts like hell but nothing stung
Like all the fucked up shit you did to me
Yet every year I let it repeat
I spend my sleepless nights wondering if you’ve learned how to behave
And I guess I’ll never know if it’s you or a cigarette I craved
I am the dirt I am the porcelain
You were broken you weren’t chosen
A breeze blows through to cut the silence
Our fingers reach out and intertwine
And I love us I love us I love us
Tonight
It’s no surprise that at 22 I fell so hard for you
It wasn’t a lie when I said that there’s nothing I won’t do
But your constant need for validation fed the source of my frustrations
We were bound to end when we left home
It’s no surprise
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Ghost to Ghost Springfield, Missouri
Springfield, MO's premier bubble grunge band!
linktr.ee/Ghosttoghost
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